Saturday, June 26, 2010

I'm in a Funk

 I'm tired even though I've been sleeping better.  I'm easily agitated and it's not PMS.  I have little interest in anything.  I have a couple good books that I want to read but I can't get into them.  I have pictures that need to be organized and backed up; haven't done it.  I haven't updated Aaron's baby book and I've barely started Ethan's baby book.  I have exercise DVDs and a YMCA membership and I have zero motivation or energy to get moving.  I need to request Ethan's birth certificate but I haven't completed the form.  Basically, I have a list a mile long of things that I want and need to do.  I'm not checking things off the list.  I'm not getting things done.  I say this to myself over and over through out the day.  "I'm not getting things done!" or "I'm not getting anything done"! 

I think some of this has to do with fatigue.  Ethan sleeps through the night sporadically.  I am dealing with mild insomnia.  Since it takes me awhile to wind down and fall asleep there are times when I only get 1-2 hours of sleep before Ethan is awake and needing to be fed.  After feeding and changing Ethan, it can take awhile for me to fall back to sleep.  Interrupted sleep isn't restful sleep and before ya know it, it's time to get up for the day and start all over again. 

Another issue that I'm dealing with is post-partum depression (PPD).  I had PPD after Aaron was born and I'm struggling with it again this time around.  I really need to kick this thing.  I'm tired of being tired.  I want to be able to focus and concentrate.  I want to give my best to my husband, children and to myself.  I have goals that I want to reach.  I feel like I'm treading water.  And I'm not very good at treading water!


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