Friday, July 23, 2010

Discipline or start drinking?

I need to either start learning about discipline or start drinking!  It's as if a switch was flipped as soon as Aaron turned two.  If he's told not to do something he'll go right ahead and do it anyway.  With a little grin on his face, he'll keep on doing what I told him not to do.  I started reading Love and Logic Magic but had to return it to the library so I won't comment on that yet.  I did however finish the book called Supernanny: How to Get the Best from Your Children by Jo Frost.

I liked this book because it was a straight forward easy read.  Unlike some parenting books it doesn't weigh you down with psycho-babble and mind-numbing statistics.  In case you don't know,  Jo frost is the nanny from the hit show Supernanny on ABC.   She's a nanny from England and has about 15 years experience with children from newborn to age fourteen.  She's not a psychologist or a parent, heck, neither am I.  Jo Frost does have what I don't and that's experience.  She writes what she practices and what she has seen work.  I enjoy watching her show and thought I'd enjoy the book.  I was right.

Basically the book presents 10 rules.  These rules are 1. Praise and Rewards, 2. Consistency (I need this big time!), 3. Routine, 4. Boundaries, 5. Discipline, 6. Warnings, 7. Explanations, 8. Restraint (Must work on this too), 9. Responsibility and 10. Relaxation.   These ten rules are then applied to various situations that parents face such as eating, sleeping, potty training and getting dressed.

I really like that the book highlights consistency.  I really have a problem with this.  I have caught myself several times saying no and then giving in.  It's also important for DH and I to be on the same page so as to present a unified front. In the chapter on eating (what parent of  a toddler doesn't have issues with eating?) it says to stick to the same rules and follow them through.  You're not supposed to change your mind in the face of a tantrum or melt-down.  I have a hard time with this.  I don't want to be a push-over but sometimes I don't want to deal with the crying of a tantrum either.  Also, she instructs not go give a child who hasn't eaten his meal a snack.  Well, duh, that makes sense right?  I must admit I have done this. 

One thing that I didn't like so much about the book is the technique of using the "naught step".  It's basically just putting a child in time out.  I have no problem with time outs especially  at this stage but I don't like the wording.  I don't want to use the word "naughty" for fear that Aaron might think I'm calling him naughty.  I want to make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable not him the person.  I just won't use the word naughty.

I would recommend this book to friends/family if they are like me and new to parenting and discipline.  If their child is already headed to the big house,  this book is probably not in-depth enough for them.


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